Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing

Summary

“Hi, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty. And I should be dead.”

So begins the riveting story of acclaimed actor Matthew Perry, taking us along on his journey from childhood ambition to fame to addiction and recovery in the aftermath of a life-threatening health scare. Before the frequent hospital visits and stints in rehab, there was five-year-old Matthew, who traveled from Montreal to Los Angeles, shuffling between his separated parents; fourteen-year-old Matthew, who was a nationally ranked tennis star in Canada; twenty-four-year-old Matthew, who nabbed a coveted role as a lead cast member on the talked-about pilot then called Friends Like Us. . . and so much more.

In an extraordinary story that only he could tell—and in the heartfelt, hilarious, and warmly familiar way only he could tell it—Matthew Perry lays bare the fractured family that raised him (and also left him to his own devices), the desire for recognition that drove him to fame, and the void inside him that could not be filled even by his greatest dreams coming true. But he also details the peace he’s found in sobriety and how he feels about the ubiquity of Friends, sharing stories about his castmates and other stars he met along the way. Frank, self-aware, and with his trademark humor, Perry vividly depicts his lifelong battle with addiction and what fueled it despite seemingly having it all.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is an unforgettable memoir that is both intimate and eye-opening—as well as a hand extended to anyone struggling with sobriety. Unflinchingly honest, moving, and uproariously funny, this is the book fans have been waiting for.

My Verdict

This memoir by Matthew Perry, most fondly remembered as Chandler on the sitcom Friends, has an awful title and the jury was out on whether I wanted to read it or not. I will be honest; I didn't pick it up until after he was found deceased in his jacuzzi at the age of 54.

The book was not always well written. It was repetitive at times, but then again so was his life as he spent his entire adult life in and out of rehab facilities. Being an alcoholic in recovery, I found his description of his struggles to be heartbreaking and I just wanted him to figure "it" out. He repeatedly comments that the fame he wanted couldn't save him and the money and nice house didn't give him what he was searching for either.

He says that "something" always led to him drinking or using again. That something could be good or bad; either way it always seemed to rip control away from him. He talked a lot of recovery between the covers, but he just couldn't live it for long.

On a readers' Facebook page, I saw a lot of people angry about how he treated women. To them, I would say this: "I think he was angry about that as well. He was an addict and addicts are sometimes horrible to those around them.

I wish I could say I was surprised to read last week that the cause of death for Matthew Perry had been determined to be Ketamine. I wasn't surprised -- just very, very sad. I gave this book 4 stars. It takes courage to share your demons in the hope that they may help someone else.