Finding Me by Viola Davis

One of my favorite shows on Netflix is How to Get Away With Murder. I honestly think Viola Davis is an amazing actress. After reading her memoir Finding Me, I also think she is an amazing human.

This is the story of her childhood, overcoming trauma, and using life experience to propel oneself forward. In the way of a trigger warning, this memoir is filled with poverty and abuse (to both people and animals). It is through the lens of Davis as a child of an alcoholic father who abuses her mother and through the experiences of losing a beloved family pet and living in a condemned apartment full of rats, that we see how amazing Viola Davis's ascension as an actress is.

She writes about how she wet the bed until the age of 14. “I was an awkward, angry, hurt, traumatized kid,” Davis writes. “I couldn’t articulate what I was feeling and nobody asked. I didn’t believe anybody cared. I was saturated in shame.” She also writes about her therapy and work to overcome her shame. She writes that she has learned to "embrace what God has made you to be. Even the parts that [have] cracks and where the molding [isn't] quite right. It was radical acceptance of my existence without apology and with ownership."

As she writes about her journey through her acting career, she describes the world of a black female trying to navigate in a world that was searching for white or white-like actresses. She took roles that many would feel were beneath them, but points out that "he who has choices has resources". She took the jobs she could get because she didn't have resources and because she loved her family and felt responsible for helping them as much as she could.

Perhaps the most important lesson in the book is that we do not always need to heal the child inside and their trauma. They survived. Sometimes we need to accept that child, hug that child, and let them be excited about the amazing person that they are going to become.

My Verdict: I loved this memoir perhaps because I could identify with it. Did I share the exact life experiences of Viola Davis? No. But I do understand shame and shame-based thinking; I do understand not feeling like I am lovable; and I do understand the feeling of imposter syndrome. Thank you Ms. Davis for helping this reader to see that having survived trauma doesn't have to define a person. You are enough and so am! I give this book 4 stars.